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Thursday, February 6, 2014

Girl Talk: Being a Girl in a Girls' World

  Hello all!  Today's post is just some randomness that I actually decided to make a small series out of for my blog.  I had been talking to my husband about a few different things and he suggested making it into a blog series or at least a post.  Great idea, and it felt better than just jotting it down in my journal, since I am actually searching for other perceptions and comments on the topic.  I'll label it "Life Series" Girl Talk for now and it will just include random topics or feelings that I had and wanted to share with all of you.  If you have been following me for a while, or maybe know me personally, you might know that I am actually a peculiar girl.  Maybe not so peculiar, but I will admit I felt so when I was younger.


  I had a true passion once upon a time ago for video games.  I still do, just less now compared to way back when due to school and adult life things haha.  I also have a love and passion for manga and anime as well.  Now you're probably wondering where I'm going with this.  Though these things are many other people's interests today, growing up as a girl, I felt a little out of place with other girls.  It was really rare for me to find another girl that had the same interests as me when I was a kid.  However, take a look at today's society and how modern we all are now, it's not that difficult to find someone with the same interests.  At the same time, I was a major "tom boy" growing up.  I love video games, kung fu movies (still do), action movies, and at one point in time was super into sports.  At least 90% of my friends were male too.  I had always been considered "the girl that could be one of the guys" in my group of close friends (which consisted of males only).

  Fast forward about 10 years later and I am well into my mid 20s and missing what every girl or young woman needs; a close girlfriend or best girlfriend.  While getting ready this morning, I was sort of venting to my husband (which I often do) and mentioned that I had no girlfriends!  Of course being the loving hubby my Marcus is, he listened and realized that I had a good point.  I then moved onto naming a few closer female acquaintances that were good friends, but none to be dubbed the best friend that I had been longing for.  When I say best friend, of course I consider my hubby my very best friend, but he agreed when I mentioned that it would be nice to have a close friend to share lady-crisis with!  Someone to go shopping with, have coffee and talk about things that hubbies don't care to hear about, joke or stay up late chatting on the phone with about the hubbies or significant others, or just another female to vent to!  I also miss being able to just get away from home, life, work and school and melt it away with a best girl friend.  I wanted someone to share the female-comradery with.  I do/did have a best girlfriend and would consider her one to this day and maybe until the day I die, but we are not as close as we were before.  We grew up together, me being about a year older, you can say we were in diapers together.  We live far away from each other now and hardly keep in touch, but we still do things like send each other Birthday and Christmas gifts and packages in the mail, talk about how we'll meet up when either one of us is in town, etc.  Even though we hardly ever see each other, the times that we do (if we're lucky maybe once a year to two years), it is almost like we were never apart, that is how I know that we will forever be best friends.

  That being said, though she is my best friend, I still feel that I am missing that kind of closeness with someone physically/location wise closer to me.  Most of my close friends I can count on both of my hands.  Another thing is, my main friends are mutual friends of my husbands' and are all again, male.  I enjoy spending time with my best dude-friends, but I still feel like, "the cool chick that's one of the guys" as opposed to being "Anna" in the group.  Sometimes I feel in my different dynamics of friends, I lose my individuality as being me and am confined to being just the girl in the group of male friends, my hubby's wife, or just another female acquaintance.  Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere (within my circles of friends) but I also don't belong nowhere.  Hubby was saying that there isn't one person that we've met who doesn't like me, and that's true, but I am also no ones best lady friend.

  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a fairly happy human being, love the friends and family that I do share closeness with, but I'm only really reflecting here.  Since I was young, I always felt like I didn't belong in circles of friends that consisted of females.  I always felt weird, awkward and like I was the charity case.  As if, I were invited somewhere out of pure pity, granted this is most likely not true at all, but it still doesn't change that I felt that way back then.  Currently, I have a great group of lady friends who are also my co-workers.  We actually go out and do quite a bit of things together, and it's been really refreshing!  But again, I feel a bit out of place.  For a few reasons including; 1) They are all older than me.  2) They all have children. and 3) We all have different interests.  No, I am not saying that in order to have best friends or a close friend that you have to have the same interests, or be the same age and do all of the same things, but this does put a damper on the whole closeness thing.  Ya know, the closeness that defines the best in best friend?  So again, I am left feeling like a woman without a place in a lady friend group.

  So food for thought and just simply my brain running a muck.  Ladies, have you ever felt out of place in your group of lady friends?  Do you feel that you lack or are missing that best friend that you can do anything with or talk about anything with?  Everyone has had a best friend or has one, and it's a nice feeling.  Though my husband is my very best friend, he cannot really fill that girl friend void that I am experiencing.  I find it so difficult to find a fellow female who has similar interests that just gets me.  That's what a best friend is right?  Ladies, how do you define your best friend?  What is she like, what is she to you?

Let me know in the comments!  I'd love to hear about your best friend relationships!  I know people who finish their best friends' sentences!

  I hope this post wasn't completely boring or depressing, that wasn't my intention.  I was more so venting, and genuinely curious about how other ladies feel about the subject of having a best lady friend or best friend.  Hope to be back with more posts soon, so sorry for neglecting the blog!  I've been busy with work and school as usual.  Will definitely be blogging more with the results of my latest acne routine change and the weather should start becoming more sunny soon as well!  Until next time!  And of course, again thank you all for reading.

7 comments:

  1. Lovely post,you have nice blog:)
    followed!

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    1. Thank you so much! ^___^ <3333

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  2. I was very lucky to meet my best friend (Tara) in high school, and I realize that we have is rare! We talk every single day and she just gets me. I can be myself 100% around her. We've been friends 12+ years now! I also have another close girl friend, but I don't see her as often but we always have fun when we do see each other. (She is getting married and moving soon, but I plan to talk to her as much as I can.) It's so important to have lady friends to share life with! I'm not saying this about you, but I noticed a lot of times people get married and you kind of lose them to their spouse-they just kind of fall into this void where I never hear from them again. My best friend and I are both single, so I wonder if that is why our friendship is so strong? (Just having random thoughts.....) Anyway, great and insightful post!

    -Melena

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    1. Hi Melena! Thank you so much for reading! You brought up some really awesome points! I know exactly what you mean when you bring up that for some people who are in relationships or are married, that spouses can tend to consume one another. I don't particularly believe that's the case for my hubby and I, because we are very individual and surprisingly different people. We both do our own thing for the most part! But I know what you mean when you say "void" I was a bit like that with my very first relationship. That being said, even when I was single I felt like a "void" and totally out of place. I would say that my only best girl friend is my best friend because we still have a strong relationship, but it's not close. Does that make sense? LOL *Babbling* Like I know we'd be there for each other in a heart beat if it came down to it, but we're still not as close as we were... like physically (location wise) and communication wise. lol that probably made no sense at all! But I really appreciate your insight and your perspective on things! I think that's great that you and your BFF have been friends for that long! I'd say I've been friends/known my BFF for 20+ years and counting since we grew up in diapers together. <3 Friendship is a beautiful thing.

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  3. Looking forward to more posts on this topic! -MJ

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  4. ANNA! this might be late but I just read this post. I know how you feel! I feel the same way too. I have good friends but not best friend. Well, my boyfriend is my best friend but sometimes I do wish I could have a female best friend who will spend time with me often. and then we would just hang out together, talk to each other all the time, rave non-stop about everything, go shopping together. Sadly, I don't have. I have a bunch of great friends whoI hang out a lot (like every week) with, we would share stories every time we met with but I feel like I am missing this one person to share everything with :( Someone to share all my problems with. But maybe I am just not a person who likes to share too much. I wonder if that's the main problem. Because I simply don't share everything with everyone unless I am really close to them, in this case, no one.

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    1. Bella, thank you for your thoughts! You're not too late, I'm glad that you had a chance to read my post! <3 I think maybe I'm the same. You're right, it could be part of the problem, not being able to open up and share more with others. Though, it's difficult to find the person you want to share more information/things with aside from boyfriends, husbands, wives or girlfriends. Having a close female friend is difficult I think because of our personality types. I'm pretty introverted, and socializing is not one of my best skills haha

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